Invitation Tips

Sponsored by Taylor

Typically, the main card's dimensions are 5 1/2" by 7 3/8" for a sheet folded over once, or 4 3/8" by 5 3/4" for a single card. But feel free to innovate. Perhaps you'd prefer a simple square sheet; a tall, narrow folded card; or a delicate, ragged paper adorned with a tassel down the side.

Unless all of your guests are local, you'll want to include a map clearly outlining how to get to the ceremony and reception sites, along with a set of written instructions from various directions. It's preferable to have these cards printed on the same paper (or a similar color and stock) as the invitation, but you may use preprinted directions provided by the sites instead.

While tradition used to dictate that guests would send a hand-written reply to the host, enclosing a response card with an addressed, stamped return has become a common and acceptable practice. Making it easy to reply in this way is likely to decrease the number of non-responding invitees you'll need to chase down later, but the additional printing and postage does add to the overall cost.

Finally, consider additional inserts as a way to personalize your invitations. If you're having assigned seating for the ceremony, you might include a printed pew card (also called a within-the-ribbon card), explaining where the guest should sit. Depending on the formality of your invitation, you may even want to include hotel and tourist information for local sights that your out-of-town guests might want to explore. Remember, though, that each insert affects your budget and the amount of postage you'll need.

Wording

Besides announcing your upcoming marriage, your wedding invitation needs to convey:

• who is hosting the affair
• the level of formality (casual, semiformal, formal)
• the time, date, and location

It should also include any special information (for example, that only cake and champagne will be served at the reception so guests don't expect dinner, or that it will be an outdoor reception so guests can dress properly).

Using traditional language is the quickest way to bring formality to your wedding. While you needn't feel constrained by every formality, etiquette rules do provide time-tested guidelines that can address your specific needs. Your main concern will be wording your invitation correctly - particularly if you're trying to accommodate a nontraditional arrangement (such as hosting the affair yourselves, or divorced parents).

Traditional wording includes:

• no punctuation marks except for commas after the day of the week or periods after abbreviations
• British spellings for words like honour and favour
• dates and times are spelled out (the fifteenth of May; half after three o"clock) and a.m. or p.m. are not used
• church addresses are omitted, except in large cities

In a case where only some of the ceremony guests are invited to a reception afterward, separate cards announcing. "Reception immediately following the ceremony" and naming the location should be printed and placed in the invited guests" envelopes. Otherwise, printing the above reception announcements directly on the invitation is appropriate. Street addresses and zip codes need not be included in invitation text, except in the R.S.V.P. address.

For specific examples of wording for different situations, see our Invitation Wording Examples.

Timing

Once your guest list is determined, start thinking about your invitations. Order your invitations no later than four months before your wedding date - and six months ahead is not too soon. This will comfortably allow at least four weeks for the printer to process the order, and a month for you to assemble and address them. (If you're hiring a calligrapher to address your envelopes, you'll want to make arrangements as soon as the invitations are ordered.)

How many invitations will you need? Count one per couple, one each for single guest, and one for children over 18 in a family (they should receive their own invitation). Then add at least a dozen extra as mementoes and to cover any last-minute additions to the guest list. And be sure to order another 25 to 50 extra envelopes for addressing mistakes.

Assembly & Addressing

Invitations should be in the mail at least six weeks before the wedding; eight weeks or more for out-of-town guests who will need to make travel arrangements. If you are working with "A" and "B" lists, mail the "A" list invitations at least six weeks in advance. One regrets from the "A" list start coming in, you can continue inviting people from your "B" list until three weeks before your wedding.

When your invitations are delivered from the printer, you'll have to assemble the many components. (If possible, enlist your bridesmaids or fiance to help.) With all the text facing up, layer the insertions in this order:

1. The main invitation
2. The tissue paper (if you want - it's not necessary)
3. The reception card (if you're using them)
4. All other cards in order of size (smallest on top)

Slip the entire package into the ungummed inner envelope (if you're using them) so that the text is facing the flap. Finally, insert the inner envelope, with the guest's name facing the flap, into the outer, gummed envelope, which gets sealed.

When addressing your wedding invitations, follow these rules:

• Spell out special titles (Rabbi Jack Singer), including for guests who are medical doctors or have academic degrees by which they are commonly referred to (Doctor Betty Jones).
• For couples who are married, without special titles: Mr. and Mrs. Frank Jones
• For couples who are unmarried, living together: Put names on separate lines in alphabetical order
• For couples who are unmarried, living separately: Send a separate invitation to each at their respective addresses.

It's unnecessary to include children's names on the outer envelope, but do list them on the inner envelope with their parents (Mr. and Mrs. John Smith and Bobby). The absence of a child's name implies that he or she is not invited.

Before posting your invitations, be sure to take a fully assembled sample to the post office and have it weighed one last time to confirm how much postage each one requires. Be sure to buy pretty stamps for both the outer envelope and the reply card envelope, and apply them neatly.