Recent brides reflect back on their big day — and what they would have done differently.
By: Debra WittI’d be more assertive
The country club that Emily Dean chose for her reception was perfect. Even better, the club had an on-site event planner. “The planner was one reason we booked that venue,” says Dean, who lives in Philadelphia. “But she quit her job two months before our wedding.” A new planner came on board, but she was “totally overwhelmed,” as the club had started a big construction project. Dean found herself stepping in to press the management to clean up areas she’d been promised for the reception. “I still get peeved when I see the machines and mess in the background of our photos,” she says.
On-site planners do shoulder a lot of the reception details, streamlining the process for many couples, but keep in mind that you’re signing a contract with the venue and not the planner, says Engvall. To give you more peace of mind, make sure you’re meeting with the person who’ll be on duty the day of your reception, pose a few “what-if ” scenarios (including any future on-site renovations) and make sure you’re comfortable with their answers. And definitely read the fine print in all of your contracts before signing.
I’d DIY in advance
Having worked in the catering business, Sarah Kilpatrick had a firm grasp of what’s needed to pull off a smooth reception for 350 guests. She carried this organizational style over to other aspects of her wedding, which took place in Wheeling, WV, working closely with several vendors. Two things she did decide to DIY though, were creating the ceremony programs and crafting ribbon wands. “The final week before our wedding was pretty stress free, thanks to my many check-off lists,” says Kilpatrick. “But knowing that I had to get so many wands made and also put together the programs is something I wish I’d gotten out of the way sooner.”
DIY-ing favors or other decor elements can help save money, says Laesser-Keck. But adjust your timeline so that everything’s ready to go a couple of weeks in advance. “And definitely enlist the help of close friends and family members. Handmade touches are wonderful, but be realistic about what you can pull off,” she says. “You want those days leading up to your wedding to be easy.”
Photo Credit: Damion Hamilton
I’d reapply my lipstick
“It’s a little thing that still drives me crazy: I never reapplied lipstick after the ceremony!” says Madeleine Chenot Pennington, who hosted a vintage-Hollywood bash in Waco, TX. “Now, when I look back at pictures, my unglossed lips are all I see.”
Bare lips, shiny foreheads, smeared mascara — makeup mishaps are all too common, says Laesser- Keck. “The day is just going to fly by and it’s natural for brides to forget about this detail.” She suggests handing your maid of honor a small pouch that contains your lipstick and some blotting papers, a stain removing wipe, and a dryer sheet to handle static. “Ask her to remind you after the ceremony and once during the reception to do a quick retouch.”
I’d give the photographer more direction
A pale pucker isn’t the only thing Chenot Pennington would re-do. She also wishes she’d prepared a shot list for her photographer. “I absolutely loved my photographer, but so many pictures from the ceremony were taken from a balcony when I was hoping for more close-up shots,”
“A photographer doesn’t know what a bride wants unless the bride tells her,” says wedding photographer Laura Yang. That’s where a detailed shot list comes in. Keep in mind that lighting and setting also play a role. “If a bride loves the sun-splashed, airy images she saw on her photographer’s site she can’t plan her own wedding inside a dark hotel ballroom and expect her photographer to produce the same look,” Yang says.
I’d start my honeymoon two days later
In the interest of saving time, Kilpatrick and her new husband hired a limo to gather them from their reception at 3 a.m. for an early morning flight to Jamaica. “Big mistake,” she says. “It felt like we missed an entire day because we were so exhausted.”
Besides needing some rest, Engvall says it’s worth delaying your travels for a day or two to have some quiet time to unwind and spend more time with parents or other close family members. “Most couples appreciate not having to think about packing for a big vacation while they’re also worrying about everything that needs to get done for the wedding.”
A Final Thought
"There’s always going to be one thing that’s not completely perfect,” says Viva La Diva’s Laesser-Keck. “But that doesn’t mean that the decision you made was bad. So rather than get stuck on that one thing, just let it go and remember how amazing the day was. You’ll look back and you won’t have any regrets."
