Yes, you can keep that still-on-our-honeymoon feeling stoked forever and ever-and you can get it in just minutes a day.
By: Michelle Bender
It's true that having a healthy, satisfying marriage requires attention and care, but who said it has to be hard? "The best way to stay connected and happy in your relationship is to do a few simple things each day," explains Pepper Schwartz, Ph.D., professor of sociology at the University of Washington and author of The Lifetime Book of Love and Sex Quizzes (Hyperion). "It's like house maintenance. If you straighten up a little every day, your home is always going to look nice. As newlyweds, now is the time to set healthy habits for the rest of your lives together."
To help you do this, we've found 25 easy ways to improve communication and intimacy, spice things up in the bedroom and, overall, make you feel blissful about your union. Each one takes five minutes or less, so what are you waiting for?
1. Create a shared vision. Pick an uplifting word or phrase that summarizes the essential nature of your relationship, like "soul mates" or "perfect partners." That description, once it's "in the air," will affect your thoughts and feelings about your relationship, and will create a self-fulfilling prophecy of a more positive union, says William Ickes, Ph.D., professor of psychology at the University of Texas at Arlington.
2. Flatter each other shamelessly. "Regularly give your partner different kinds of compliments," suggests Ava Cadell, Ph.D., author of 12 Steps to Everlasting Love (Peters Publishing). Get physical ("Your arms are looking buff!"), express appreciation ("Thanks for bringing home that pint of Ben & Jerry's Phish Food") or be emotional ("When I'm with you, I feel safe"). "Your connection will be stronger if you show you don't take your partner for granted," says Cadell.
3. Take a quiz. A romance, sex or relationship test from a book or a magazine—even an outrageous or silly one—will get the two of you talking. "It's easy to feel shy about certain subjects," says Schwartz, "and quizzes are good icebreakers."
4. Say "hello" and "good-bye"—and mean it. When you're in the middle of something—say, paying bills, sending e-mails or cooking dinner—and your partner comes home, it's easy to say a rote "hi, honey" without looking up from what you're doing. "Instead, give each other a hug or kiss, even if it's quick," suggests Judith Ann Graham, a wedding planner and the author of My Bride Guide (Barricade Books). "It takes all of 15 seconds, but it makes the other person feel like a priority in your life."
