With wedding planning, you’ve likely received plenty of advice – from staying on budget to where to seat your loved ones – but some of the biggest lessons don’t typically come up until the big day. By then, the ink has dried on the timeline, and everything is in motion, so it’s typically too late to make any last-minute changes.
To help you avoid any regrets, we’ve enlisted some industry experts to share their insight on what advice is commonly overlooked (and what couples wish they learned before it was too late).
More activities = more stress for everyone
“Couples can get over-excited about having multiple days to celebrate with their loved ones while on ‘vacation,’ but in reality, too many planned activities can cause additional stress on everyone involved. It’s hard to realize this ahead of time, but when you are in the moment, you’ll wish you had more downtime to take it all in, relax, and spend quality time together instead of having to rush around to various activities each day.”
–Jen Avey, DestinationWeddings.com
Build extra space into your wedding-day timeline
“My advice is to build a timeline with enough breathing room to actually experience your day. Leave space for spontaneous conversations, hugs, and simply being present with the people you love. Those unscripted moments are the photographs that become family heirlooms, because they preserve the way you felt and the love that supported your marriage in your new life together.”
–Melani Lust, Melani Lust Photography
Ask about seasonal décor timing
“I offer this advice based on my background as a Disney Cast Member. I knew to ask every venue I considered exactly when seasonal decorations go up, because many properties start decorating for the next holiday well before the season actually arrives. At Disney properties, for example, Halloween décor starts in August, Christmas décor begins around Thanksgiving, and Americana-themed décor for July Fourth starts at the end of May. One venue’s answer told me I would have been saying my vows in front of two (2) fifty-foot Christmas trees at what would have been my Jewish wedding ceremony, and it forced me to find a different venue entirely.”
– Michele Schwartz, Jet Setting with Me
Don’t underestimate how important it is to feel comfortable with all your vendors
“The people working in front of your guests matter just as much as the pretty details. Videographers, photographers, hair & makeup artists, DJs/bands, wedding planners, and their assistants can significantly impact the overall vibe of the wedding day. The front-facing vendors on the wedding day will help dictate the energy flow and are a visual representation of the wedding, arguably as much as the décor and details. I like to think of a wedding as a big family dinner. How they behave, how they dress, and their temperament can affect your experience as a couple as well as your guests. When choosing vendors, it’s helpful to ask yourself, ‘Would I feel comfortable inviting them over to a family dinner?’”
–Mary Angelini, Key Moment Films
Give yourself a break from planning
“Ironically, the couples who enjoy their engagement the most are usually the ones who give themselves permission to step away from planning. Set aside dedicated times to make decisions, then close the laptop and go be engaged. Go on dates where wedding talk is off limits. Celebrate birthdays, take weekend trips, spend time with friends, and remember why you’re getting married in the first place.”
–Sara Landon, Sara Landon Events
Don’t wait until the last minute to work on your vows
“Start working on your vows way in advance. Summarizing what you love about your partner in ~2 minutes is hard, but when it’s done well, it can be one of the emotional highlights of the entire wedding. Unfortunately, so many people push it off, and it becomes a source of enormous stress. This is something you can work on long before you’re deciding on guest lists or color schemes, which gives you more time to edit and practice it (out loud). If you’re struggling, there are pros like us that can help you personalize it and work on your delivery.”
–Brian Franklin, Vows & Speeches
Don’t let price be your only defining criteria
“Stop making vendor decisions based on price and start making them based on fit. The couples I see get hurt are the ones who chose their venue, photographer, designer, or planner by comparing rates on a spreadsheet. Price is easy to quantify, so it becomes the default filter, but it has almost nothing to do with whether someone can actually deliver what you’re imagining for your day. Two photographers can charge the same rate and produce completely different work. Two planners at opposite ends of the price spectrum can have wildly different relationships with venues and vendors that affect how smoothly everything runs. What you actually need to evaluate is whether they’ve done this before at your scale and in your style, whether their past clients sound like you, and whether the way they communicate makes you feel cared for or just processed.”
–Julian Ribinik, Julian Ribinik Studios
Your venue is more than a backdrop
“Couples often choose a venue based on aesthetics, but after hosting hundreds of weddings, I can tell you that logistics matter just as much, if not more. Things like guest flow, weather backup plans, parking, accessibility, and how the space transitions from the ceremony to cocktail hour to the reception all have a huge impact on the overall experience. A beautiful venue can quickly become frustrating if guests are confused about where to go, waiting in long lines, or dealing with unnecessary inconveniences throughout the day.”
–Ian Ramirez, Madera Estates
Don’t get drunk
“Stay hydrated and sober — or at least sober-ish — and have your wedding party support this notion. We’ve seen the welcome bags filled with hangover remedies, but why not be proactive and mindful of what you consume on the most important day of your life? Stock the VIP suites with hydration sticks, waters, and favorite soft drinks. Have a crafted mocktail at the bar so you can be replenished in style between those signature spicy margaritas. Your newly married self will thank you the next day for having fun and remembering every special moment.”
–Carin Hunt, Coconut Palm Inn
Less is more for your bridal party
“Coordinating and communicating with a large bridal party is no small feat, so it is perfectly acceptable to want to keep things easy with a small group. As we prepare ceremony programs for many of our clients, we have discovered that last-minute changes to the bridal party are not uncommon. We sympathize with the couples as they navigate these highly emotional and stressful situations with bridal party members. The old adage of ‘less is more’ is definitely a principle to live by when it comes to the bridal party.”
–Kelley Nudo, Momental Designs
At the end of the day, no wedding is ever completely perfect, and it doesn’t have to be. The moments you’ll remember most are the ones you share with each other and the people you love, not whether every detail went exactly as planned. Keeping these often-overlooked pieces of advice in mind can help you spend less time stressing over the little things and more time enjoying the celebration with your partner!
Meghan Ely is the owner of wedding PR and marketing firm OFD Consulting and the founder of OFD Collective, a membership community for wedding pros looking to elevate their visibility. She’s a sought-after speaker and a self-professed royal wedding enthusiast.
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