Before you panic, let our wedding experts walk you through your next steps.
By: Meghan Ely
Photo: Rosy and Shaun Wedding Photography
Picture this: you carefully pick your closest loved ones to be in your wedding party, and they happily accept the invitation. All goes well; you continue planning, and then suddenly, they have to bow out due to unforeseen circumstances. You're so close to the big day — so, what now?
"It's okay to feel disappointed or frustrated when someone steps down, especially if it's unexpected. Give yourself a moment to process before reacting. Life happens, and it's important to be understanding. Even if you're frustrated or think your friend's reason is invalid, handling it with kindness will keep your relationship intact. At the end of the day, your wedding party is there to support you, not just fill a lineup, and if your relationship was important enough that you wanted them to be in your party, it is important enough to weather this hiccup." —Carmen Hinebaugh, Evermore Occasions
"Don't take it personally when a wedding party member backs out. Things happen in everyone's lives, and just because they can no longer be a part of your wedding party does not mean they don't love you anymore! For some, it is the time commitment, travel, or financials that is holding them back from standing next to you on your special day." —Loni Peterson, MLS, LP Creative Events
"Understand it is OK to have uneven wedding party numbers. If you're trying your best to keep the party even, that's great for symmetry, but you can accomplish a nice-looking wedding party lineup with your guest count — whatever the number! Communicate wedding party changes with your planner so you can brainstorm processional, lineups, and recessionals." —Penny Haas, Penny Haas, LLC
"You will want to ensure whoever you have in mind for the replacement will have time to get their attire in order and all necessary updates can be easily made. If all the stars align and you are able to easily fill the vacant spot in the bridal party, by all means, move forward with the replacement, but do not feel obligated." —Kelley Nudo, Momental Designs
"Bringing in a last-minute replacement can feel forced, and it might put someone in an uncomfortable position. If you have a friend who was already involved in the wedding in some way and genuinely wants to step in, tha's one thing, but don’t stress over fixing the lineup. Your guests aren't keeping score. —Craig Peterman, Craig Peterman Photography & Videography
"If someone in your wedding party drops out last minute, there are a few [financial] things to think about. If they booked hair or makeup services, you may not be able to cancel and receive a refund. We recommend offering these services to another close friend or family member. If you purchased a bouquet or boutonnière for them, ask your florist if you can repurpose those blooms into another arrangement. If this person had to drop out because of a serious emergency, consider having their bouquet made into a keepsake and send it to them with well wishes." —Casey Cannon, EBJ & Compan
"Updating your ceremony program to reflect any changes that are made to the bridal party is a detail you don't want to overlook. Hopefully, there is still time to make any changes that do not require a reprint, so if it is still possible to make program updates, contact your stationer right away so anyone who has dropped out of the bridal party can be removed from the program." —Kelley Nudo, Momental Designs
"Focus on the people who are showing up for you. It's easy to get caught up in the frustration or disappointment of someone backing out, but don't let it overshadow the love and support from the rest of your wedding party. These are the people who chose to stand by your side — so shift your energy toward them. Whether that means giving a little extra appreciation, adjusting the lineup without stress, or simply soaking in the joy of the day, remember that your wedding isn't about who's missing — it's about celebrating with the people who are present." Michelle Oley, Michelle Elaine Weddings
Having wedding party members drop out isn't ideal, but know that it ultimately doesn't change the reason for your celebration. Take all of the necessary steps to keep the planning process moving, and don't let it get you down!
Meghan Ely is the owner of wedding PR and wedding marketing firm OFD Consulting. Ely is a sought-after speaker and a self-professed royal wedding enthusiast.
