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Etiquette Q&A: How to Handle a Reluctant Bridesmaid

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bridesmaids bouquets
Photo Credit: Susie & Becky Photography

Q. One of my girlfriends told me she doesn’t want to participate in “the financial aspects” of being a bridesmaid or take part in any planning. What should I do?

A. Simple: Tell her that as much as you would have loved having her in the bridal party, it’s probably best if she takes part in your wedding in some other way. (You can ask her to do a reading during the ceremony.) Paying for her attire and helping to plan and pay for the bridal shower is part of “being a bridesmaid” territory. It wouldn’t be fair to your other ’maids to expect them to do all the heavy lifting. She’ll probably be relieved.

—Diane Forden

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