Post-Bridal Depression

Is post-bridal depression real? Yes, post-bridal depression is very real. While getting engaged and planning a wedding are very exciting, it brings emotions to another level. When it’s all over, some brides are left feeling like there’s a void in their lives. Here are my answers to some questions you may have about post-bridal depression:

How common is it?

It's a lot more common than you would think. Most of the time you might say these emotions are just because you have too much on your plate. We tend to put a lot of pressure on ourselves to make this day perfect. Everyone has her own idea of what perfection means. Some take it to another level and allow every little task to be a priority. They cannot focus on anything else but the wedding. This becomes very unhealthy and can lead to horrible anxiety and depression, especially if things are not going the way they feel they should. With emotions running high and low on a daily basis, you can certainly develop a chemical breakdown in your system, especially with hormones and endorphins running in every direction.

Why might one experience it?

A new bride might experience this if she has been on a high from the planning and attention that has been given throughout the experience. When she has what I would call "Bridal Coma," she is in a place where nothing matters except the upcoming wedding. She may be obsessed with the wedding to the point that she cannot focus on anything else. Once the wedding is over and all attention goes by the wayside, it's a pretty quiet time. It may come as a shock to her system and make her feel like there must be something wrong with the relationship because that excitement is gone. While some brides are thankful that the planning is over and they can focus on their new lives, others may feel something is missing.

I have watched many brides go through this during the planning process. I notice them focusing on the wedding or details a bit too much. This raises a red flag on my end. I try to give them projects that need to be completed by a certain date. Once they have completed the task, they have to focus on just being engaged, their jobs and relationships. This seems to be a challenge for some. They feel if they are not constantly doing something, that some task might be forgotten. When we see this occur, we also notice the relationship hurts as well. This can cause fights with the groom, family members and friends. The worst thing that can come out of this is the cancellation of the nuptials.

How might post-bridal depression manifest itself?

When you don’t allow the process to just happen or you don’t take healthy breaks from the planning and focus on your career and other aspects of life, you are headed for a rocky start in this new chapter of your life. It's great to be the center of attention, but if someone isn't used to this and it just suddenly comes to a halt after the honeymoon, it can be earth shattering! If you take each task with stride and stay focused on regular everyday activities, you can prevent this "let down" from occurring.

What steps can one take during wedding planning to avoid the post-wedding blues when it's all done?

You can prevent PBD by practicing some of the following activities:

1. Try to spend only a certain amount of hours per week working on the wedding.
2. Don't forget to have date nights with your significant other to keep the spark shining bright!
3. Try to talk about other things with your friends and family besides the wedding.
4. If you like to exercise, this is a great way to raise natural endorphins. You won’t rely on wedding talk to give you the same feeling.

If you do find yourself feeling blue and empty after the planning is done, what can you do to combat these feelings?

You may want to keep yourself occupied with things that provide some relief such as working out, walking your dog or just getting outside the house for fresh air. Surrounding yourself with your nearest and dearest is always a good way to stay grounded. It also helps to make plans in advance like going to the movies or concerts, dining out with friends, etc. This will give you things to look forward to!

If you feel some of these feelings are overwhelming or are preventing you from enjoying everyday activities, you should seek a professional who can help you deal with these emotions. The worst thing you can do is ignore your inner feelings. You’re not alone and hearing this from an unbiased party might be the right fix.

Just remember, this is just the beginning of something new and exciting. Every day with your new partner will be a different adventure if you are open to it. A wedding is just an overrated party. Marriage is the actual celebration!

Posted by Samantha at 11:52 a.m.