Find the Perfect Wedding Band

Q: I have always envisioned wedding bands that match perfectly, but I have noticed that most of our friends don't have identical bands. Are there any rules for coordinating our choices?

A: It's up to you whether or not you'd like the rings to be the same. His and hers rings are a good idea from a sentimental standpoint, but many brides and grooms want to express their individuality. "There's a wide variety out there, from bands with a vintage 19th-century feel to those with a Gothic, hand-forged look," says jewelry designer Scott Kay. "Even the classics may have a rope or weave motif and different types of engraving and patterns. You're not marrying someone exactly like you, so wanting different styles is understandable." But you can still convey a sense of unity by choosing bands in the same metal or with a similar feature, like a princess-cut diamond. As long as you both love your rings, matching or not, you've made the right choice.

Q: My fiancé doesn't wear fine jewelry so he doesn't know what style is "him." How should he select a wedding band?

A: The more wedding bands he looks at, the more he'll develop an opinion. He can browse through magazines and websites to see what catches his eye. Then you two can go to some stores that specialize in bridal jewelry. You'll find plenty of options and knowledgeable salespeople to offer guidance. He should also try on his favorites to see what looks good on his hand. Osnat Gad, author of Wedding Bands (Stewart, Tabori and Chang) and CEO of OGI, a jewelry design company, notes that width is very important: "Encourage him to pay particular attention to this measurement to find a ring that feels most comfortable."

Q: My diamond engagement ring is very ornate, and I'm worried I won't be able to find a coordinating wedding band. Any advice?

A: Check with the designer who created your engagement ring to see if a matching band is available. (Turn the page for some gorgeous sets!) Or you can have one made. "Though many stores can design a band to your liking, it will take some time," says Terry Lam, branding sales manager for Calla Cut. If you don't want a waiting period, you'll still have plenty of options if you shop around. "Think of it as matching a pair of pants to a patterned shirt," advises Kay. "The two should coordinate but not compete." In other words, because of your engagement ring's elaborate design, you don't want too much going on in the band. Make sure the metal and style of the rings are the same—an antique-looking ring calls for a similar vintage-style band. Try it on without the engagement ring, too, to make sure you like it on its own. What if it's dazzling in a set, but not so great solo? "Also consider buying a plain metal band," suggests Gad. "Many brides like having an alternative for the days when they dress more casually and don't wear an engagement ring."

Q: Should we shop together for rings, even if we decide not to purchase matching bands?

A: We definitely think you should! You may be able to point out some styles your fiancé wouldn't normally consider—and he might do the same for you. Plus, it's good practice for your future married life. "This is just the start of many financial commitments you'll be making together," says Gad. "When you make a joint decision, you learn more about what each of you likes and wishes for."

Metal Winners

For a warm hue and on-trend look, choose yellow gold bands. Check the inside of the band for markings; 24K means the gold is pure. It's probably richly colored, but is delicate and will scratch easily; 18K and 14K gold bands include alloys like nickel and zinc to make them more resilient. If you prefer a silvery color and durable quality, try a band of 18K white gold (75% gold and 25% alloy, like rhodium), but know that white gold can yellow over time. Platinum will give you a similar look, with a more pristine luster; it will withstand wear and tear better, but its rarity makes it pricey. If you're on a tight budget, consider a lightweight titanium band or a band made of stainless steel (starting at $75). And for something different, consider palladium. Lighter in weight and whiter than platinum, this increasingly popular metal bears a more manageable price tag. —Rebecca Ward