Thank-You Note Rules & Traditions

What to Write

While thank-you notes are traditionally written by the bride, it is perfectly appropriate (not to mention practical) for your groom to write some after the wedding too. To make matters simpler, have him do those for his friends and family, while you do those for yours. Shower gifts, though, are generally for the bride, so it is you who should do the responding. (Of course, gifts from a coed shower are an exception to this rule.)

Be sure to make each note warm and personal. Remember, the giver spent valuable time and money searching for the perfect item for you. Preprinted note cards are not appropriate—a handwritten, personalized thank you is a must. Neatness counts—dont cross out words or leave messy ink blots. And dont use a pencil or colored pen. Blue or black ink are the only appropriate choices.

Your notes need not be lengthy, but they should mention the gift by name, and refer to how you will use it: "Thanks you very much for the china place setting! John and I will think of the two of you every time we use it. We hope youll be our dinner guests sometime soon."

When writing about a monetary gift, you need'nt start the amount, but do mention what you plan to do with it: "Thank you both for your generous wedding gift. John and I are saving for a house, and you have helped bring us closer to that goal."

Its nice to include a photo of the two of you—but only if your photographer can provide the prints within a few weeks of the wedding. Do not make guests wait to hear from you because the pictures arent ready.

Don't like a gift? You still need to offer gracious thanks, and never mention that you plan to return it. Likewise, make your own arrangements with the store to replace a damaged gift. Theres no need to trouble the giver.