Your Sticky Situations--Solved!

Problem: "One of my bridesmaids is driving me crazy. She has her own ideas about every aspect of the wedding, from the bridesmaid gowns to the color of the flowers. She seems to want everything her way. How can I tell her it's my wedding without causing a blow-up?"

Solution: Speak up, sooner rather than later—although you'll have to handle the discussion with care. The fact is, brides often feel guilty or anxious when they have to tell a bridesmaid what to do or not to do. However, says Phyllis Cambria, copresident of WeddingCoachPlus.com, bridesmaids have to learn that the wedding is about the bride, not about them. "Thank your bridesmaid for her wonderful suggestions, and tell her you're sure that all those ideas will work beautifully for her wedding," says Cambria. "Then give her some small assignments, like being in charge of the guest book or finding someone to bring the flowers from the ceremony site to the reception, to make her feel involved and important. I worked with a bride recently who followed this advice, and in the end, her bridesmaid took ‘ownership' of her assigned duties and made sure all the tasks were handled perfectly. Everyone was happy."

Problem: "I have a demanding full-time job, and now I'm stressed out over my priorities. How can I plan my wedding without taking away from my job performance?"

Solution: You need to get very organized so that wedding-planning time does not intrude upon office responsibilities. Think about it: Do you really need to interview six florists and eight bands? "Brides often have a lot of anxiety about how to tackle wedding planning," says Rev. Brockway. "Learn to channel your thoughts and energy toward the things that are most important to you, and then take action." Get up a little earlier in the morning to draw up your daily to-do list, or take an hour at night when you're relaxed. Make a note of phone calls or errands that you can manage to do on your lunch hour, and of course consider which tasks you may be able to delegate to helpful friends. It never fails: Getting all your ducks in a row is always the best stress-buster around.

Problem: "My fiancé and I are paying for most of the wedding, but both sets of parents are involved in our plans, and I'm worried that they'll go ahead and make too many decisions. How can I have them be part of the process without letting them do more than I'm comfortable with?"

Solution: Sit down with your fiancé and discuss with him what your parents should do and what the two of you can do yourselves. Most likely the two of you will want to handle the big decisions, like the kind of ceremony you want and whether you'd prefer a cocktail reception, a sit-down dinner, a party on a yacht or whatever else happens to be your heart's desire. But you can still make both sets of parents feel included and excited about the wedding by seeking their advice on some of the details, says Cambria. "Parents can be asked to select the music that will be played when the bride dances with her father and the groom dances with his mother," she suggests. A bride may want her mother's advice on flowers, if that's Mom's area of expertise, or her father's input on transportation to and from the ceremony and reception sites. Try to think about what suits each person best, and your parents will end up being grateful that you've taken charge in such a thoughtful way.