Straight talk, smart solutions by Diane Forden, Editor in Chief
Take a Seat
Q: Although most guests will stand during our outdoor ceremony, we will have a few chairs set up for elderly relatives. How might we let them know this -- and ensure that no one takes their seats? -- Ft. Myers, Florida
A: It’s considerate of you to provide seating for older guests. I think your best bet is to place “Reserved” signs on the backs of the chairs, so that others won’t assume it’s a “first come, first served” arrangement. You should also make sure that your ushers know exactly which relatives are to be seated and that they are to escort these guests to their chairs. Should any of the other attendees take a seat, your ushers can politely ask them to stand for the service.
Invitation Inquiry
Q: What’s the difference between engraving, thermography and letterpress? Also, if we’re having 175 guests, how many invitations should we order? -- Tulsa, Oklahoma
A: Your stationer will no doubt show you a variety of printing styles and explain each in detail, but here’s a brief rundown: Engraving is more classic and formal with raised lettering (and the most expensive form of printing). Thermography replicates the raised look of engraving, but costs about 20 percent less. In letterpress printing, the letters and designs are pressed down into the paper for a more retro look. “Offset,” another word for flat printing or lithography, is superaffordable (be sure to find out the cost for each method).
You won’t need to order an invitation for each of your 175 guests. One invite per single person, per couple and per family will suffice. But you should order about 25 additional invitations as keepsakes and 25 extra envelopes in case you make mistakes while addressing. And be sure to see a proof -- a preview of the final result -- in order to ensure that names are spelled correctly and all the information is accurate.
Gift List
Q: We’re giving gifts to our wedding party. However, my aunt is hosting a pre-wedding party for us. Should we give something to her as well? -- Savannah, Georgia
A: Yes, your aunt should receive a token of thanks. In fact, gifts should be given to anyone who goes above and beyond to assist in some way. And don’t forget the guest-book attendant, friends or relatives who host or drive out-of-town guests and your parents. Their gifts needn’t be expensive, so don’t panic about the cost. Money clips, business card cases, key rings, picture frames, small jewelry items or decorative boxes, engraved pens, flowers or plants, soaps, candles, stationery and mani/pedi gift certificates -- all are wonderful presents that won’t break the bank. Believe me, the gesture is well worth it, and your friends and relatives will appreciate your thoughtfulness.
Save-the-Date Query
Q: Is it appropriate to ask guests to convey their responses via reply card or a phone call after receiving our save-the-date cards? -- Englewood, New Jersey
A: No, save-the-date notices are sent to alert guests as to the time and place of a wedding, so they have ample opportunity to make their arrangements. Reply cards are enclosed with the wedding invitation only. However, if you and your fiancé want to get a rough estimate now, I recommend you follow up through e-mail or phone calls. Keep in mind that it may be too early for some people to confirm, so be sure to get your invitations out four months before the big day (especially if it’s a destination wedding), and ask to have responses by 10 weeks before the wedding. That should give you plenty of time to finalize all of the details with your pros.
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