Thank-You Note Q&As

Think of it as your final wedding responsibility. Here, answers about thanking your guests properly.

Q: Our photographer suggested that preprinted thank-you notes accompanied by a wedding photo would ease the burden of responding to all the gifts. Is this appropriate? 

A: Yes and no. It is never acceptable to send a preprinted thank-you note - a handwritten, personal message from you and your new husband, including a reference to the specific gift, is the least you should offer your guests for their time and expense. And while photos are nice mementos to include with your notes, it can sometimes take months to get them back from the photographer. Since all thank-yous should be sent to guests within three months of your wedding (and earlier is preferred), you should only take this route if your photographer can meet your deadline.

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My parents and my grandmother both contributed large amounts toward our wedding. What is a proper way to thank them, and when should the thank you occur? Is it okay to thank them along with our wedding day gifts, or should we send a thank you within a certain period of time after receiving the money?

It's not necessary to wait until you receive the money to say thank-you -- you know that it's coming. You should definitely put some thought into the type of thank-you you want to express, and soon after returning from the honeymoon is the perfect time give your thank-you gifts. Here, some ideas: 1. Parents and grandparents are definitely sentimental, so why not put together personalized photo albums with "through the years" snapshots of the bride with her parents and grandparents, including wedding-day photos? 2. Give them a beautiful framed wedding-day photograph of the couple with her parents and grandparents. 3. Invite them to your home for a special dinner so you can not only show off some of your registry gifts in use and but also present your gifts to them. Or, you can take them out for dinner and then invite them back to your home for dessert and present your thank-you gifts then. (Provided, of course, that the bride's parents and grandparents live nearby.) 4. Also consider some of the activities they like: Tickets to a sporting event, theater, ballet, golf outing, or a gift card for a spa day, mani/pedi or dinner at their favorite restaurant will be greatly appreciated. 5. Consider giving them a personalized gift, such as a piece of jewelry for mom and grandma and personalized tie clips, cuff links or money clips for dad and grandpa. 6. Gift baskets are also an option or signing them up for a "gift of the month" (fresh fruit, wine, etc.). 7. And always include a handwritten thank-you note with any gift given that expresses how genuinely grateful you are for their generosity. These are just a few suggestions that are sure to please. -Diane Forden, Editor in Chief of Bridal Guide