Here is an exclusive book excerpt from 13 Things They Won't Tell You. Every month, Reader’s Digest Magazine asks selected experts from a different profession to spill their secrets. Readers walk a mile in their shoes and see things that are enlightening, horrifying, and give them a whole new perspective on the people they trust with their food, health, family, money, and home. They walk away with the keys to awesome backdoor deals, insider knowledge that saves them tons of money, and invaluable advice for getting better service anywhere they go.
Now, for the first time ever, this wisdom has been collected into one comprehensive volume, complete with updates, all new interviews, and tons of additional secrets that have never appeared before.
Wedding planners and pros from across the country reveal the messy side of making your wedding day unforgettable. Here's what they wish brides knew.
1. I keep secrets. At one wedding I planned, the cake went missing after the bride and groom cut it. The bride soon asked where the cake was. Turns out the servers had taken it upon themselves to eat it! We cut the pieces smaller and the bride never knew. Keeping things quiet is the secret behind making the bride think the wedding was flawless.
Photo Credit: Heather Fitch Photography
2. If you've been engaged for a week... And your wedding planning organizer is thicker than mine (which usually contains paperwork for the five or six weddings I'm currently planning), then I automatically tell you that I'm booked on your date...and your backup date.
3. Your parents are paying? I hope you understand you may not get what you want!
4. I feel like a therapist when I am forced to step in to help with family drama. My insight is to be polite and respectful. Often, meddlesome people just want to be heard out. Since I’m an independent third party, I’m able to bring neutrality to emotionally charged situations.
5. I'll go to great lengths to make sure your wedding is perfect. Your wedding is my job and I'll do everything I can to make it memorable, including walking miles to a florist in Jamaica to correct the $700 bouquet that arrived to you spray-painted purple.
Photo credit: Hazel Photographers
6. I do manual labor and other dreadful tasks. I cannot even tell you how many times I've been on my hands and knees, sweating. I sometimes have to count the napkins and linens before they go back to the rental company. I'm talking dirty, smelly napkins, with food, gum and whatever else is on them. Talk about gross!
7. I wish you'd respond to my emails... As quickly as you expect me to reply to yours.
8. I'll make sure everything you're offered is in the contract. If the first manager you work with offers you a complimentary toast, get it in writing. If that manager leaves for whatever reason, you won't be forced to argue about these details with his or her replacement.
9. Don't forget the tax and service charge. Many couples overlook the “plus plus” when planning a menu. Everything has a tax and service charge, and it really adds up, trust me!
10. My job is to make sure you don't have a big overage... But many caterers will fix five percent more than what's guaranteed. While the buffet food can't be salvaged, what's leftover in the kitchen can. Ask your catering manager to send the extra food to a food bank.
11. Reuse flowers... From ceremony to reception if at all possible. If you're planning to do this, tell your florist, otherwise your flowers may arrive one-dimensional, and won't look as nice in an open space.
12. Stay focused on the big picture. It's easy to micromanage all of the details at the expense of the big picture. As long as people marry for the right reasons, the details of wedding planning are really secondary. Don't make decisions to please or impress others.
Photo Credit: Joshua McCoy Photography
13. I still cry at weddings. Being part of the family for that short amount of time is truly rewarding. It’s when I’m sent baby photos that I know I had a real impact on a couple.
