So many wedding-planning books revolve around the bride — but it's the groom's day, too! The new book, Stuff Every Groom Should Know by Eric San Juan addresses the wedding (and marriage) from a male's point of view, offering essential advice for grooms-to-be. Here, he discusses how to calm your nerves.
Photo courtesy of Groom Socks
There is no denying it: this is a big day. So big that it wouldn’t be altogether surprising if you got wedding day jitters. Hey, it happens. Even the most laid-back guy can turn into a wreck once the reality of the big day starts to settle in. But you’ve got to keep it together, man! Here’s what to do.
Know what’s getting to you.
If you can figure out what’s giving you the Wedding Day Jitters, you’ll have a better chance of getting past them.
Look past the crowd.
If being in front of a crowd makes you nervous, try this public speaking trick: look above everyone’s heads and concentrate on the back wall of the room. The crowd will stay in your peripheral vision and become an anonymous blob.
Talk about it.
You chose your best man to be the head of your support team, so use him for support. Pull him aside and tell him you’re nervous. He’ll call you an idiot. You’ll feel better.
Have a drink.
As in, one drink — but only if you’re the type who settles down with a single drink. Otherwise, avoid altogether, or opt for an herbal tea or other calming beverage (hey, these things work!).
Breathe.
Inhale for four counts, exhale for eight — it’s been proven to calm your autonomic nervous system.
Stand up straight.
An erect and confident posture will help you exude “groomness” on your wedding day. Stand up straight, pull your shoulders back, and don’t fidget.
Project confidence.
Make eye contact when speaking with people (including when reciting your vows) and smile. You can do this.
Think ahead.
Fact is, this day is going to be over before you know it. Think about how you’ll be celebrating the marriage later — that part will be awesome — and the next couple of hours will zip by.
—Eric San Juan
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