Etiquette Q&A: “When Should We Throw the Bridal Shower?"

Editor-in-chief Diane Forden answers one reader's biggest etiquette question.

Q. My sister is planning my bridal shower six months before the wedding date, and my future mother-in-law is annoyed. She claims it’s improper etiquette, and that the shower should be held four to six weeks before the wedding. Who’s right?

A: There’s really no right or wrong in this case. Even though tradition dictates that a bridal shower should be held two months to two weeks before the wedding, I don’t see any reason why it can’t be planned before the two-month mark.

While having a shower six months before the wedding may not be improper, it does seem a bit early for practical reasons. For one thing, you and your fiancé need to have the guest list determined and your wedding invitations sent out before people receive their bridal shower invitations. And all those invited to the bridal shower should be on your wedding guest list as well.

If you do have an early shower, make sure you and your groom complete your gift registries first. Most bridal-shower invitees want to know where you’re registered, and this list is usually included with the shower invitations. If by some chance you’ve already mailed your wedding invitations and completed your registries, then it’s feasible to have the shower six months before your wedding. If not, perhaps your sister can schedule it closer to the big day.

—Diane Forden