Create a "Fight Box" During Your Ceremony

During your wedding ceremony, you promise to take each other for better or worse, in good times and in bad. On the day of your wedding, when you’re more in love than you’ve ever been before, it can be hard to even imagine that you might go through a rough patch a few years down the road that has the ability to break your relationship.

Let’s face it: You’re going to fight. In fact, it can be healthy to fight. But there may be a time when you need to remind yourself why you fell in love your husband-to-be in the first place.

Enter the Fight Box.

Photo Credit: Jennie Andrews Photography

Before your big day, gather a wooden box, a bottle of wine (or the alcohol of your choice), and two glasses. Write love notes to each other, explaining your feelings as you prepare to start your new life together as husband and wife. Seal your letter without letting your soon-to-be read what you’ve written.

During the ceremony, place the love notes inside the wooden box with the wine and glasses. Take turns hammering the box shut, one nail at a time, until the box is sealed. 

Agree to keep the box sealed until a special anniversary, like your 10th or 20th, unless you hit a rough patch. Then, break open the box, pour the wine, read the letters, and remember what it’s all about! 

Photo Credit: Love Me Do Photography
Photo Credit: Love Me Do Photography

Photo Credit: Love Me Do Photography

“I know that it might seem a bit Debbie Downer, especially at a wedding, but I think it's important to remember that marriage is tough,” said Veronika Placik, pictured above, who put together a fight box during her ceremony two years ago. “We don't say ‘for better or for worse’ for no reason, right? You have to remember that you entered into the marriage for a reason, which the letters remind us of. The box sits on our bookshelf in our living room, and we're looking forward to opening it in 18 years (hopefully!)."

Photo Credit: Jennie Andrews Photography

Photo Credit: Jennie Andrews Photography

Nicole Denton, pictured above, also created a fight box with her husband during their ceremony, agreeing to open the box either on their 10th anniversary or when they hit a rough patch — whichever comes first. “We loved the idea of being able to relive the feelings from our wedding day 10 years later—or if we experienced any problems before then,” said Denton. “Our wedding ceremony was very much "us", and we both felt like this unique ritual really fit us as a couple.”

Tell us: Will you create a fight box?

—Kristen O'Gorman Klein