Looking Back

This is a story about old friends, distance, nostalgia, and the sentimentality of being a bride.

Sian and I met in the second grade when she was just the girl with the funny name and I was the new kid. Before the year was over, we were best friends. We had slumber parties every weekend during which we performed a radio show on my "TalkBoy" tape recorder (remember those?), invented our own magical kingdom (which we subsequently defended from unspeakable evil), and formed a club named of our first and last initials (we were the sole members).

As the years passed, we lost our last baby teeth, got our first periods, and started daydreaming about what it meant to be an "adult." We were inseparable, a dynamic duo.

Throughout our childhoods, we shunned the idea of marriage. My parents were consistently unhappy with each other and her two loving moms were a constant source of small-town controversy. Instead of finding spouses, we decided that we’d just buy the biggest RV we could afford and drive around the country together until we got sick of it. Then, we'd buy a house and some cats and grow old as spinsters.

At that age, we were so fixated on the present that we were sure that things would never change. But they did, and we had our first major falling out in early high school over something stupid and petty. It was my fault, I ditched her to hang out with the "popular" crowd (who were boring and vapid). But I was too pigheaded to admit that I'd done wrong and she was too stubborn to forgive me. By the time I came crawling back, we hadn’t spoken in almost six months and we barely had time to repair our friendship... My parents had just announced that we were moving to the other side of the country.

My first regret is that we even fought in the first place. My next is that I let my eagerness to move away and "start over" burn too many bridges that I could never repair. My newest regret is that now, ten years later, I won’t be going to her wedding. And she won’t be coming to mine.

Sian was engaged almost exactly a year after my fiance popped the question to me. As soon as I heard, I emailed her to send my congratulations, tell her that I was also engaged (I read her LiveJournal but I don’t think she reads my blog), and invite her to our wedding. I immediately started daydreaming about how we would hug and cry tears of joy while we reminisced and felt so proud to have been part of this amazing, important moment in each other’s lives.

She replied to share her well wishes and wedding plans, but there was a problem... a huge, gaping hole in my awesome wedding daydream.

She’d booked her wedding on exactly the same day.

My first, and totally irrational reaction was to be completely pissed. How could she? Didn’t she know how much this meant to me? How important it was for us!? (Well, no, of course she didn’t.) I wasn't really furious; I was frustrated and completely helpless to stop the obliteration of one of my greatest dreams for my wedding day—a reunion with my childhood best friend.

Then, I cried myself to sleep and couldn’t tell my fiance what was wrong. I’ve always been sad that after being friends for so many years, we’ve only written each other a handful of letters and had a few hour-long lunches when I’ve been traveling. It sometimes seems so bittersweet that we've made new friends and gotten along just fine without each other. But I’d always just assumed that we would still be a part of each other’s lives when it came to the BIG things. Like getting married.

What are the chances that after ten years apart, we would be wed on exactly the same day?

Finally, I realized the serendipity of our situation. Even if our weddings weren't double-booked, who knows if we'd have been able to make it to each other's nuptials. Daydreams are no match for the problems of real life—like time and money.

But with our weddings on the same day, we will celebrate together. When we commemorate our anniversaries, we will also honor the anniversary of a friend. And I won't ever forget her wedding date!

To be honest, I’m still quite sad about it. But our weddings have already brought us back together, at least a little. We’ve talked more about our excitement over wedding plans than anything else in the last ten years.

Sian's still on my guest list: I sent her a Save the Date in December and she'll get an invite as soon as they’re ready. In place of her presence at my wedding, I'll have the story of our childhood friendship, our vow to die virgin spinsters, and our serendipitous vows on the exact same day 1,500 miles apart.

Posted by Miss Cherry Pie at 11:37 a.m.