Have Better Married Sex—From Year One to Year 20 (and Beyond!)

The 3 Golden Rules of Great Sex

Whether you've been married for a day or decade, there are a few must-dos when it comes to keeping the spark alive, says Sandor Gardos, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist in private practice in San Francisco and staff sexologist at Mypleasure.com, an online retailer. Here, his top three sizzling-sex tips:

1. Set aside time for dates. "Couples stop dating when they get married, which means they no longer think of their partners as someone they're wooing," Gardos says. "You need to keep wooing each other." So, remember what it was like before you walked down the aisle. Dress up for dinners out together, and give each other romantic little gifts once in a while. These gestures will help set the mood for romance.

2. Accentuate the positive. Don't ever tell your spouse you're bored or unsatisfied in bed. Instead, let him know what he's doing feels good, but that you've always wished he could "do this"—and then show him exactly what you mean. "Communicating about sexual wants and desires helps keep things spicy," says Gardos.

3. Never stop laughing. "Funny things happen during sex," Gardos says. "You try a position and fall on your face, you find yourself making funny noises—and you might look and feel ridiculous. But all of this is okay. Sex is supposed to be fun! You should never feel embarrassed with your partner—self-consciousness will only inhibit you."