Before you even say "I do," you're also saying "I do" to his mom. Five situations--and their solutions--are revealed.
Since divorcing mom-in-law is not an option, and even a “trial separation” would probably wreak havoc on your seating chart, here’s some advice on how to tackle the “big” topics.
Photo: Creatrix Photography
1) The Wedding
Let her express her ideas, and if possible, try to accommodate them. Going that extra mile will contribute to the long-term health of your relationship. If you think she’s being unreasonable about something, don’t let it consume you instead, find a gentle way to explain that inviting her third cousins to your brunch will take away from the intimate atmosphere you’ve got your heart set on.
2) Her Son
You ever hear the saying, “mother knows best?” Well, in this case, it might be wise to stick to this old adage at least when she’s around. If you’re not looking to shake things up, feel free to let her offer all the advice she wants on which remedies will soothe his flu symptoms or how he likes his meat cooked. After all, they’re just opinions. We know who really knows best.
3) Future Children
This is one area you own completely. She has no say here, and you can let her know that although as always, it would be best to do so gently. If she repeatedly voices her opinion, or puts pressure on you, you are well within your rights to tell her it’s none of her business and to ask your future husband to intervene if necessary.
4) Holiday Celebrations
Why not start your own holiday tradition at home and invite both your families this will not only be a great way to get your families together, but will also ensure that the holidays are celebrated on “neutral territory.” If you’re just not the happy hostess type, then you’re best off dividing the major holidays equally between your family and his. And always be realistic and flexible—if you know that Thanksgiving is a big, Norman Rockwell deal for your husband’s family and not much of an extravaganza for yours, then you know where you’re spending Thanksgiving, right?
5) Your Home
What makes a house a home is the people who live there. Assuming that your future mother-in-law will not be living with you, the simple thing to do here is to take her opinions into consideration if she offers them and let her know that you appreciate her advice. Then go ahead and do what you want.
